{"id":41,"date":"2007-03-22T22:04:08","date_gmt":"2007-03-23T05:04:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/?p=41"},"modified":"2007-03-22T22:04:08","modified_gmt":"2007-03-23T05:04:08","slug":"search-queries-that-came-to-this-site-part-1-comic-relief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/?p=41","title":{"rendered":"Search Queries That Came To This Site: Part 1 &#8211; comic relief"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>But first &#8211; a quick notice:  I just added a &#8220;rating&#8221; bar for posts.  Feel free to vote &#8211; the more feedback I get, the more likely it is that I may eventually learn to write more consistently coherent and interesting things&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>At this point, this little blog seems to get most of its meager traffic (by far) from search queries.  The searches have been piling up, and I figure it&#8217;s about time to do some posts to try to address those searches.<\/p>\n<p>For part 1 here, I believe I&#8217;ll start with the oddball searches which often don&#8217;t seem to have anything to do with microbiology or, indeed, sometimes anything coherent at all.  It&#8217;s late, and I could use some comic relief.  (In Part 2 I&#8217;ll discuss some of the unexpected-but-coherent searches that led to my blog, and in Part 3 I&#8217;ll post about the kinds of microbiology searches I kind of <em>expect<\/em> to see in the logs that I&#8217;ve gotten&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Why MSN loses to Google and Yahoo:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Out of the 5 whole MSN queries that have led to this site, two of them are: &#8220;mazda&#8221; and &#8220;debt&#8221;.  I have no idea why.  (In fairness, the other three queries were perfectly plausible microbiology-type queries).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Just plain &#8220;Huh????&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Someone in San Jose got here by Googling the phrase: &#8220;Type of fruit makes balloon grow bigger&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Someone from Nairobi(?) got here by querying &#8220;death  and nuisances&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>From a Washington State school organization of some sort: &#8220;a powder that looks slimy looking when lemon juice is added&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>From a Toronto school network: &#8220;how does pink solution work(remove stain)&#8221;. (Actually, they may have been looking for information on Eradasol?, which is a seriously nasty-smelling detergent\/solvent of some kind which does a good job of removing microbiology-type dyes from floors, countertops, fingers, etc&#8230;)<\/li>\n<li>From the UK: &#8220;in search engine type cell a room&#8221; (Uh&#8230;what?)<\/li>\n<li>From Indonesia: &#8220;expired of natto&#8221; (are they trying to find out when you throw away Natto instead of eating it, or people who died from eating Natto?)<\/li>\n<li>From the Department of Education in Orange County (California, presumably): &#8220;water ballon splater&#8221;[sic]<\/li>\n<li>From the Department of Education in Queensland, Australia: &#8220;why does this material work for the room&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>And finally, my personal favorite from (apparently) Google itself: &#8220;iron chef cheese balloon&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>BLASPHEMY!<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Both New Zealand and the UK got here trying to find out about how &#8220;mushrooms are evil&#8221;.  This is completely unfounded &#8211; Mushrooms are our FRIENDS.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Kinda Scary<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>From the Vancouver area: &#8220;world&#8217;s best bathrooms, microbiologically&#8221; (Ah, but best for what purpose?&#8230;)<\/li>\n<li>I got two different queries (both from Pennsylvania?) for &#8220;eating expired jello&#8221; (Actually, as far as I know, so long as the stuff remains dried in its sealed pouches, it&#8217;s probably safe to eat almost indefinitely.  I&#8217;d be a little leery of expired pre-made gelatin, though &#8211; that stuff&#8217;s a relatively simple protein mixed with lots of water and, often, sugar.  Sounds like very attractive food for microbes of all kinds, including some that might make you sick&#8230;)<\/li>\n<li>Speaking of which, someone at University of Michigan was looking for &#8220;eating expired bread spore&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Someone from Illinois was looking for &#8220;old interrogation room pictures&#8221;(?!) on Yahoo&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Someone on a military base in Ohio somehow got here looking for &#8220;solicitation can be released at least how many days&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And, perhaps scariest of all:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>someone in Alabama had an odd search phrase: &#8220;organism +I*&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Why is this scary?  Everyone remembers Isaac Asimov, who (while he was a live organism) wrote &#8220;I, Robot&#8221;, right?  Well, obviously this means that a secret cabal of government agents managed to steal Asimov&#8217;s brain and upload it into a computer, thus creating a Robot Isaac Asimov (and this searcher wanted to know when Robo-Asimov would be publishing &#8220;I, Organism&#8221;.)  Obviously, government &#8220;working&#8221; as well as it does, their Robo-Asimov still uses <span class=\"moreinfo\" title=\"A quirky syntax some old calculators used.  Imagine how 'Yoda' would talk if he were a mathematician...\">&#8220;Reverse Polish Notation&#8221;<\/span>, hence the reverse-entry of &#8220;Organism I&#8221;&#8230;Okay, enough silliness for one evening.  More &#8211; hopefully &#8211; tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>But first &#8211; a quick notice: I just added a &#8220;rating&#8221; bar for posts. Feel free to vote &#8211; the more feedback I get, the more likely it is that I may eventually learn to write more consistently coherent and interesting things&#8230; At this point, this little blog seems to get most of its meager &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/?p=41\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Search Queries That Came To This Site: Part 1 &#8211; comic relief<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,12,6,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-feedback-solicitation","category-meta-blogging","category-microbiology","category-nerdity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=41"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=41"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=41"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=41"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}