{"id":77,"date":"2007-10-08T20:42:09","date_gmt":"2007-10-09T03:42:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/?p=77"},"modified":"2007-12-07T19:41:19","modified_gmt":"2007-12-08T02:41:19","slug":"do-not-taunt-happy-fun-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/?p=77","title":{"rendered":"Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Park"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a brief interlude for my new readers.  Members of my immediate family have seen this before elsewhere, but what the heck, I may as well share with you all.<\/p>\n<p>Related to my recent posts about this year&#8217;s field-trip to Yellowstone National Park, I am reminded of a trip my wife and I took last year to Norris Geyser Basin in the same park.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve heard of &#8220;communing with nature&#8221;, when the natural world seems to speak to you and put you at ease.  Well, on this occasion it didn&#8217;t just <em>seem<\/em> to be speaking to me, and it hardly put me at ease.  The conversation between me and the park went something like as follows that day.  (Forgive all the scrolling, it WAS a several-hour conversation after all.  If it bugs you, feel free to say so in the comments&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/norestroom.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" title=\"No smoking, bicycles, dogs, or restrooms.  And definitely no smoking dogs riding bicycles in the restroom.\" alt=\"Sign:No Restroom in Geyser Basin\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" height=\"300\" width=\"400\" \/><\/center><br \/>\nWell, okay, I don&#8217;t smoke, I didn&#8217;t bring a bicycle, we left the dog at home.  And I guess we can hold it until later.  It&#8217;s a small price to pay to go out to nice, happy, peaceful trails, away from, for example, all the annoying road construction.<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/trailcone-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" title=\"Fruiting-body of rare Yellowstone Orange Holewarning Mushroom?\" alt=\"Traffic cone, in the middle of the trail\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: left\" \/>Wow!  Look at that!  Do I spy the <span class=\"moreinfo\" title=\"The part of a fungus that sticks up and has all the spores in it\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\">Fruiting Body<\/span> of the rare Yellowstone Giant Orange Holewarning Mushroom?!?!?No, wait&#8230;that&#8217;s just a traffic cone over a hole in the trail!  What the heck?  I thought I was getting <em>away<\/em> from road construction!<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\">Well.  Maybe things will get more natural-looking once we get a chance to walk off into the wilderness.  Maybe the map&#8217;ll show where we can go.<\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/norrisbasinmap01.jpg\" title=\"Map of Norris Geyser Basin Trails with Warning\" alt=\"Map of Norris Geyser Basin, with Warning to Stay On Designated Trails\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" height=\"351\" width=\"368\" \/><\/center>Ah, look at all the lovely trails.  <em>Plenty<\/em> of space to roam around in.<br \/>\nWhat?  I can&#8217;t leave the trails? <center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/stayondesignatedtrails.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" title=\"Stay On Designated Trails\" alt=\"sign:Stay On Designated Trails\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center><br \/>\nCan&#8217;t I take a mere step or two off?  Just a little bit???<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\"> <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/stayontrail_s-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" title=\"Stay on Trail\" alt=\"Sign:Stay on Trail\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: left\" \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/stayonwalk-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:Stay On Walk\" title=\"Stay On Walk\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: right\" \/>Yeah, yeah, whatever.  What are you going to do if I don&#8217;t &#8211; have me arrested?<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/unlawfultoleavewalkway-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:Unlawful to Leave Walkway\" title=\"Warning sign which some criminal had to leave the walkway to install\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center> What kind of criminal act could possibly be involved with just leaving the silly walkway?  Littering?  Vandalism? <center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/unlawful_unsafe.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:It is UNLAWFUL and UNSAFE to: Leave the walkway in thermal areas or throw objects into or deface thermal features\" title=\"What, you mean this ISN'T just a cool steaming garbage can???\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\"> Oh, come on!  Look, there&#8217;s a beautiful green pool over there, full of no doubt fascinating little <span class=\"moreinfo\" title=\"This is what they used to call 'microbes'.  I like this term better.\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\">animalcules<\/span>.  Can&#8217;t I just go over and take a little look?<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/keepoff_thermalarea-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:Keep Off - Thermal Area\" title=\"Keep off - Thermal Area\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: right\" \/><br \/>\n&#8220;Thermal Area&#8221;?  What the heck is that supposed to mean?  It&#8217;s a little windy and chilly today, maybe I <em>want<\/em> to be warmed up a little.  So, why not?  What&#8217;s so bad about a &#8220;Thermal&#8221; area?<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/thincrustboilingwater-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:Hazardous Ground - Thin Crust - Boiling Water\" title=\"Thin Crust - Boiling Water?\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: left\" \/><\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s that supposed to mean?<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/dangerousground-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:Dangerous Ground -with illustration of kid falling into ground and getting broiled-\" title=\"Danger!  Geysers may emit children!\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center> Children are prone to explode out of the ground unexpectedly?<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/greendragonspring-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Walkway shown crossing the top of the steaming opening of Green Dragon Spring\" title=\"Hey! That thermal feature is trying to dig up under the walkway!\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: right\" \/>What the heck?  Is Green Dragon Spring actually devouring the ground under that walkway?!?! Oh!  I get it &#8211; you&#8217;re saying the park itself can swallow you up and and cook you?<br \/>\nSo everything here is flaming hot death, then, right?<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/trailmaybeicy-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign:Warning: Trail My Be Icy\" title=\"Make up your mind, is it COLD or HOT out here?!?!?\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black; float: left\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Is there no end to the dangers this place threatens innocent visitors with?  Can there possibly be anything <em>else<\/em> this park can do to us?!?!?<\/p>\n<p style=\"clear: both\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/solfatara-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Solfatara: Very Dangerous Landscape spewing Sulfuric Acid Gas!\" title=\"Sulfuric Acid Geysers?\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center>&#8220;Thin Crust&#8221;?  &#8220;Boiling Water&#8221;?  Broiled flesh cooked in acid?  Ice?<br \/>\nIs this a park, or the kitchen at a Chinese restaurant?  Is this how &#8220;Hot and Sour Soup&#8221; is made?!?!?  <span style=\"font-size: large; font-weight: bold\">Is there nothing that can stand in this realm of violent burning chemical death without fear!?!?!?<\/span> <center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/fearlessgeyser-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Fearless Geyser\" title=\"Geyser does not fear puny Thermal Area!\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center><br \/>\nBut  what of us poor, fragile fleshy people?  We aren&#8217;t safe here!That does it!  I&#8217;m getting out of here!  No more of these horrible Killer Thermal Death Areas of Doom for me!  I think maybe I&#8217;ll just go look at the nice cuddly animals that Yellowstone is also famous for. <center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/cautionwildlife-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Sign: Caution - Wild Animals are Unpredictable and Dangerous!\" title=\"Aw, look at the cute fuzzy critters, they're so...UNPREDICTABLE AND DANGEROUS?\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center>This whole friggin&#8217; place wants to gore, dismember, maul, cook, devour, and digest me!  That does it.   No more of this dangerous stuff for me &#8211; I think I&#8217;ll just go read a nice book for a while&#8230; <center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/images\/bookstoreclosed-sm.jpg\" onclick=\"alert(this.title);\" alt=\"Bookstore:Closed\" title=\"Bookstore is CLOSED?  NO!!!!!!\" style=\"border-style: solid; border-color: black\" \/><\/center><span style=\"font-size: x-large; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic\">NOOOOOO<\/span><span style=\"font-size: large; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic\">OOOOOO<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: bold; font-style: italic\">OOOOO<\/span><span style=\"font-style: italic\">OOOOoooo!!!!!!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a brief interlude for my new readers. Members of my immediate family have seen this before elsewhere, but what the heck, I may as well share with you all. Related to my recent posts about this year&#8217;s field-trip to Yellowstone National Park, I am reminded of a trip my wife and I took last &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/?p=77\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Park<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,9,22,13,6,5,21,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-feedback-solicitation","category-food-science","category-freakish-eukaryotes","category-me-me-me","category-microbiology","category-nerdity","category-play-with-it","category-where-was-i"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=77"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":629,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions\/629"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=77"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=77"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bigroom.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=77"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}