Vindicated! Margarine is correlated with stupidity!

'Happy Boy' brand margarine, with creepy-looking blank-eyed 'smiling' kid on the boxI’ve been saying for years that anyone who actually wants to eat margarine has something wrong with their head. Now, there’s PROOF:
“The study suggests that if children eat certain types of food their intelligence may be boosted or significantly lowered. It singles out margarine as having particularly strong links with lower IQ scores.”

It’s still not entirely clear whether margarine makes you stupid, or if instead being stupid predisposes you to eat margarine (or both). Either way, I continue to maintain that if you want to eat vegetable oil on your bread instead of good, wholesome, delightful butter – just get some herbed olive oil and a little balsamic vinegar [it’s not butter, but it’s darned good]. Don’t run it over powdered nickel while pumping it full of hydrogen gas to make it hard, color it yellow, and then use it as make-believe butter-like-food-product because if you do, you might as well make a Play-Doh® bread-like-loaf-product to put it on.

And before anyone asks – no, I’m not affiliated with the dairy industry…though if anyone in the dairy industry feels sympathetic to my current situation with my under-equipped home lab and wants to send me an old bacteriological microscope they just happen to have sitting around, I’d be willing to consider being a paid shill independent advocate in return…

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The Author is (currently) an autodidactic student of Industrial and Environmental microbiology, who is sick of people assuming all microbiology should be medical in nature, and who would really like to be allowed to go to graduate school one of these days now that he's finished his BS in Microbiology (with a bonus AS in Chemistry). He also enjoys exploring the Big Room (the one with the really high blue ceiling and big light that tracks from one side to the other every day) and looking at its contents from unusual mental angles.

3 thoughts on “Vindicated! Margarine is correlated with stupidity!”

  1. Nonsense. You have obviously never had a quality margarine that taste as well if not better than fat laden and animal abusive butter. It’s great stuff and as for IQ, I guess your sad little attempt at finagling a microscope does enough to put the issue of IQ clearly back in your direction. Very typical of those with both low IQ and self esteem to try and make attacks as something they know nothing about. But alas, the average internet user.

  2. I can’t tell if you are a PETA-ite, offended by the very existence of butter, someone with an unusual personal investment in hydrogenated vegetable oils (like a “Leave Britney Alone!” but for processed food-like products?), or just trolling, but you may want want to look up “Hyperbole” and “Humor”.

    Relax. It’s just a chemically-processed food-like-product. It doesn’t need you to be offended on its behalf. You are, though, welcome to give examples of what you consider to be “quality margarine”. I’ll try almost anything once. (Almost).

    (As for the thesis of the news report, which this post was about, I would actually tend to suspect that the effect has more to do with poverty than margarine. Margarine is “cheap” and presumably preferred by people with limited financial means, who also have more fundamental problems to worry about than studying for IQ tests…)

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